Half Human Puberty
by MusicArt2010
Summary: After Breaking Dawn. So what happens after Renesmee Nessie Cullen goes through her first menstrual cycle? A P.M.S.ing half-vamp/half-human that's what!
1. Menstrual Cycle

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters in this story. Stephenie Meyer does. Please review!!!

It was just one of those normal days for the Cullens. Renesmee growing to her teens, the Volturi barely even showing they're still around, nomads coming in, nomads coming out or getting ripped by the wolves. Just another normal day.

Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Esme were off hunting, the only vampires around were Alice, Bella, Edward and the half-human Renesmee. Edward and Bella were cuddling together while their darling daughter, Renesmee, lying on the couch, her body covered by a blanket, was reading her favorite book (the only book she's ever read twice), Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Alice was, well being Alice, unable to just sit around and do nothing; she was rearranging the flowers, humming tunelessly.

Dancing gracefully to the next flower vase, Alice stopped, Renesmee a few feet away from her. Raising her head from her book, Renesmee looked at her.

"What is it, Alice?" Renesmee asked. Renesmee never called her aunt or auntie. Just Alice.

"I smell something..." Alice answered. "Nessie, are you feeling alright?" Renesmee pulled her brows together.

"I'm okay, but I feel kind of weird..." Bella and Edward's heads both snapped up to look at their beloved daughter.

"Nessie, what's wrong?" Bella asked trying to hide her hysteria.

"I feel kind of...wet... sloshy..." Renesmee stood up the blanket fell from her body, the vampires gasped. Renesmee looked down and saw blood on her shorts, issuing from her lower private.

"Renesmee, this is normal--" Edward began his voice low and calming, but she cut in.

"Normal!? What the HELL is going on!?" She screeched, apparently other than receiving her mother's eyes she also got her mother's idiotic anxious hysteria. "First I get these"-- one hand points to her breast-- "Now this!?"

"Well, we er, thought, that something like this wouldn't happen..." Edward said, still trying to calm her down.

"Explain." She growled, for an intelligent half-vampire, she looked like she was ready to rip apart some trees, alas, her strength only minor.

"Well, sweety.," Bella began. "You see, when girls come of age to have puberty, they have a few changes. First, hair growing in certain places." Renesmee blushed crimson as she remembered her first time finding a hair at the same place the blood was coming from. "Next, er... your breast, and after a while, the monthly cycle." Her mother finished.

"Monthly...cycle." Renesmee nearly choked at the words, she was going to have this every month!? "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" She yelled in her beautiful soprano voice, the words rising at an incredible octive.

"We thought that it wouldn't happen..." Alice said. "Now, come with me." She took Renesmee wrist.

"Where are we going?" Renesmee asked, hoping this was all a terrible nightmare.

"I'm going to show you how to deal with this kind of stuff... er, Bella, do you mind coming with me, just in case?" Alice asked. Bella nodded.

"Deal with this?! What? What are you talking about!?" Renesmee screeched, as her aunt and mother pulled her to the upstairs bathroom.

_Upstairs_

"What is this?" Nessie looked at the square object. She was sitting on the toilet, her bloody clothes already in the wash.

"It's called a pad." Bella answered. Nessie sniffed the object.

"It's smells like crap." Renesmee said, pulling the object away.

"Well, there's always this," Alice said, throwing a small paper wrapped stick at her. Catching it easily, Renesmee stared at it.

"What is this?" She asked slowly.

"It's a tampon." Bella and Alice answered.

"And...er...where do I put it?" Renesmee asked. Bella moved to her ear and whispered to her the answer.

"NO! NO! EW. GROSS!" Renesmee screamed her voice high again.

"Honey, it's not that bad..." Bella said reassuringly.

"NOT THAT BAD?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I HAVE TO PUT SOME STICK UP MY... yeah....AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S OKAY!?" Renesmee yelled. Despite her screech of protest, they heard the rest of the Cullens coming in from downstairs.

_"WHEN YOU GET OLDER, IT'S NOT GONNA BE THE ONLY THING THAT GOES UP THERE!!!"_ Emmett yelled from below. Bella scowled.

The sound of a loud smack came from beneath the floorboards. Bella and Renesmee looked at Alice.

"Edward." She answered. Renesmee nodded, noting that she would ask her big uncle Emmett what he meant.

"Okay... So, let me get this straight. For human girls, we have to go through a menstrual cycle every month. And we have to use these?" She held up the pad and tampon.

"Yes, we asked Carlisle this a while back, just in case it MIGHT happen, he said that it should stop when you come of age. And from what Nahuel told us, that's only a ten months from now." Bella answered.

"Ten months... I'm going to bleed in my pants for ten more months! UGH! THIS IS JUST GREEAATT!!!" Renesmee shrieked, still sitting on the toilet.

"Honey, you have to use them. This may not be real blood, but it's still irritating, so if you please." Bella said, taking the pad. She wripped the cover off and placed it on Renesmee's Victoria's Secret underwear. "Alice, after this, get Renesmee some NORMAL underwear."

"Oh please, she's almost a woman." Alice scoffed. Sticking the pad on, Bella gave it back to her daughter.

"..." She stared at her underwear. "Will this be uncomfortable?"

"At first, yes. But you'll get used to it." Bella answered, being the only one in the room who actually had it in her human life. Slipping on her underwear, Renesmee fidgeted with the uncomfortable feeling on her lower area.

"Oh, and don't forget every one or two hours, you have to change it." Alice chirped up. Bella nodded and the two left the bathroom, muttering about beating the stuffing out of Emmett.

"Okay. So, I have this every month, for seven days, and I change every hour. This can't be that bad..." Renesmee muttered to herself.

_An hour later_

"MOM!!!!" Renesmee screeched from upstairs. Bella whipped her head up from where it previously had laid on Edward's chest.

"Renesmee!!" She got up and ran up the stairs to the bathroom. "What's wrong?!" She searched the room for any danger. Nothing.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked again.

"How do you put this on?" Shows the pad wrapped backwards on the underwear.

"Oh... Here."


	2. Videogames

A week had passed since Renesmee's first period. It just another boring day with the Cullens. The Cullens excluding Renesmee and Emmett were off hunting. Just a plain normal day for the vampires and half-human. Emmett sat on the couch, playing _Gears of War 2_ for the 69th time since he got the game yesterday. Coming downstairs, Renesmee scratched her eyes and yawned.

"Had a nice nap, sleeping Beauty?" Her uncle asked, looking away from the game, he knew where to hit exactly without even a backwards glance.

"Sure sure." Renesmee answered, using her Imprinted One's favorite line. She walked over and sat at the other end of the couch. Emmett turned back to the plasma screen.

They sat quietly on the couch, staring at the screen. Renesmee finally looked away and her eyes roamed for something to entertain herself. She went from staring at the ceiling to looking at a flower vase. Like a wrecking ball had just hit her, Renesmee snapped her head back to her uncle.

"Emmett," She began, like Alice she did not call Emmett by uncle. "You said something a while back, that I've been meaning to ask you..." She trailed off. Emmett paused the game, something he hadn't done since he first opened it, not even when Rosalie asked for him to stop so they could be alone. For what reason Rosalie meant, Renesmee was oblivious to it.

"About something being stuck up your vagina one day?" Emmett asked. Renesmee shuddered, he was right on target.

"Er, yes. What did you mean?" She asked, trying to control her voice. Emmett grinned.

"Have you ever played videogames, Ness?" He asked, Renesmee shook her head.

"Then I can explain to you about it, using a videogame, a donut and a joystick." In only a millasecond, Emmett was back, a joystick in his left hand. A donut in his right.

"Alright Ness, in your school, do you have Sex Education?" Emmett asked. Again she shook her head, she didn't even know there was such a class in Forks High School. Emmett grinned.

"Well, metaphorically saying, this," He held up the joystick to Renesmee's eyes. "Is a penis." Renesmee cocked her head to the side. One must wonder how Edward and Bella were able to keep stuff like this from such a child, especially with Emmett around.

"A what?" Renesmee asked. Emmett broke into uncontrollable laughter. Nessie held back the urge to punch her uncle, remembering the last time she had tried, leaving a quite noticable bruise on her right hand.

"A penis, it's the male genital area." Emmett said after his sudden high.

"Okay, so the male's genital area is called a penis, and a female's is a vagina..."Renesmee murmured to herself. Emmett grinned increasingly wider.

"You got it." He answered, enjoying his new distraction from his game.

"And what has that to do with anything about having something up my..." She trailed off, wondering what the hell he could be going with all this...

"Well, like I said before, this is a penis and this," He held up the donut. "Is a cream filled donut."

"And that's what we'll metaphorically say is a vagina? You said that videogames also come with this explanation, what is it?" She asked. Emmett nodded, noting that one day he should teach Sex Ed. if he ever has the power to resist.

"Yup. Well, what I'm about to tell you is somewhat like a game to others..." Emmett spent too much time playing video games.

_An hour later_...

"Nessie, we're home." Bella said clearly. The Cullens entered the house to find Renesmee and Emmett sitting at the couch, both were playing _Gears of War 2_.

"Hey mom, guess what?" Renesmee asked. Bella moved over to sit near her daughter.

"What dear?" Bella asked, thinking it was something to do with the game. Emmett smiled, smugly.

"I learned about sex today." A second after those words, Emmett was on the floor trying to get a snarling Bella off him.


End file.
